|Falling down is a relaxed form
||I don't know what just happened,
but my eyebrows are on the ceiling.
||I didn't want to disturb you,
so I just grabbed your wrist and twisted it.
|The first tool known to man
was a stick with chewing gum on it.
||Drowning is a relaxed form of
||Wanted: 400 Lb. man to jump
on gargantuan spiders.
|I used to have a neighbor who
was an Italian monkey grinder.
||One good way to get attention
is by waving a blinking fluorescent orange thing.
||I'll have a mild seizure on
|The dumber of the two managed
to get her head stuck in the bed.
||I can't seem to get enough food
or sleep. I think I have a tapeworm with insomnia.
||I wonder what the ratio of hula
dancers is to the rest of the population.
|Be polite twice, then bounce
a mug off the back of his head.
||Before we go any further, I
must tell you that my real name is Flop-House Blandersheen
||Welcome back to "name The
Most Unusual Food You Can Throw At A Mailman"!
|A prairie is a relaxed form
of a mountain.
||Einstein was wrong! It's all
||The first newspaper was called